You Have to Say Something….
about being human(e)….


  • What are we doing here?!?

    You Have to Say Something Or maybe you don’t. Wittgenstein recommended in his Tractatus that “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” But doesn’t this recommendation mean that one should remain silent on matters (odd word in this context) that are at the felt heart of being human? My inclination is toward a…

  • How to Destroy Your Relationship

    Introduction A recent (when I wrote this in Aug 2022) article in The Australian described “How Good Men Make Bad Husbands”. While the article did not suggest that only men made bad spouses, many commenters took issue with the article for picking on men, for ignoring that women are also good at eroding relationships and…

  • Consciousness as Memory

    Since the 1990’s decade of the brain, researchers investigating the brain and our experience as conscious persons have undermined, if not contradicted, our normal everyday understanding of ourselves as beings who immediately and directly sense our surroundings and make consciously reasoned decisions on our options. This post will informally explore some implications of these findings…

  • Simple Meditating; Meditating Simply

    Simple Meditating Here’s a link to a recent practice tips article by Ken McLeod encouraging simple meditating. Ken is my one of my favourite writers on meditation as part of a spiritual or developmental path. I like Ken because he focuses on essentials. In this post he’s reminding us not to look for or value…

  • Breathing for Mental and Bodily Calm

    Meditation, sports psychology, emotional intelligence and relationship counselling all give a central role to breathing for mental and bodily calm. Whether taking deep slow breaths, doing patterned breathing (like 4-7-8 breathing) or simply being aware of the breath, this basic bodily function is a gateway to calm. This is established practical knowledge in all the…

  • Anger and Relationship: Where Anger isn’t the Main Issue

    If you are in, or have been in a relationship then you’ve most likely been angry and have had anger directed at you. And we’ve all been in relationships, even if the latest for you is child with parent. However, it may be that anger isn’t the main issue. Anger is painful, both for the person…

  • Recovering from Trauma of Adverse Childhood Events

    Adverse Childhood Events Trauma Adverse Childhood Events Trauma is finally beginning to be part of a wider conversation about the effect of childhood experience on mental and physical health. Twenty years ago, the US CDC sponsored a large scale, epidemiological study on the effects of what the study called Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) on health and…

  • Relationship Glue

    This article in Business Insider is a look at a central finding from John Gottman’s research into the relationship glue that keeps relationships working. This research informs the relationship therapy that Vivian and I practice. Relationship Glue In our relationships we are always communicating or attempting to communicate with our partner. Critical to relationship health are the…

  • Meditation is NOT like taking a pill

    In a recent interview in Tricycle, Dr. Willoughby Britton discussed the hype around meditation and mindfulness and emphasised that much of the research on which claims for the benefits of them are based are not as robust as they are often made out to be. She is also concerned about the claims for meditation as…

  • Therapy and Contemplative Spiritual Practice

    The twin pillars of my internal life have been Buddhism and various encounters with psychotherapy, both as therapee and therapist.  This parallels the frequent intersection of, particularly, Buddhist spirituality and psychotherapy in the wider world (e.g. Welwood, Epstein, Kornfield, Siegel in USA and Barzaghi, Dawson and others here in Australia). So questions as to similarities…

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